
Ni igihe kingana gute byagutwara kugira ngo wikuremo uwahoze ari umukunzi wawe?
Hari igihe ucudika n’umusore cyangwa inkumi, akakwiba umutima neza neza. Bitewe n’igihe mumaranye, ibihe byiza mwagiranye n’ibindi, hari ubwo kwikuramo uwo mwahoze mukundana biba ingorabahizi ndetse hari abo bitwara imyaka myinshi barananiwe kurenga uwo murongo, kabone n’ubwo bagira abakunzi bashya yewe bakanashaka.
Ibi byazinduye abashakashatsi bo muri Kaminuza ya Illinois Urbana-Champaign, mu Ishami ryayo ry’Iyigamitekerereze (Department of Psychology), aho bari bagamije kureba muri rusange igihe bitwara kugira ngo umuntu wakunze undi mu buryo bufatika, abe ashoboye kumwikuramo.
Ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko nyuma yo gutandukana n’uwari umukunzi wawe, bigusaba imyaka ine kugira ngo utangire kumva umeze neza ku rugero runaka kuko uba utagifite intimba ikabije nk’uko byari bimeze mugitandukana.
Ni ubushakashatsi bwagiye hanze ku wa 12 Werurwe 2025, bunyuzwa ku rubuga rwa ’Social Psychological and Personality Science’ rw’Abanyamerika.
Inzobere mu bumenyi bw’imitekerereze n’imyitwarire ya muntu, Jia Y. Chong na R. Chris Fraley bakoze ubu bushakashatsi, batahuye ko bishobora kugufata imyaka umunani kugira ngo wikuremo burundu uwahoze ari umukunzi wawe ku buryo gutandukana kwanyu biba bitakigira icyo bigutwara na gato.
Ubu bushakashatsi bwakorewe ku bantu 328, abagabera kuri 57% muri bo bari ab’igitsina gore. Bose bigeze gutandukanaho n’abari abakunzi babo ndetse buri wese yari yaramaze imyaka irenga ibiri ari kumwe n’umukunzi batandukanye.
Ikindi abakoreweho ubushakashatsi bari bahuriyeho, ni uko impuzandengo y’igihe bari bamaze batandukanye n’abakunzi babo ari imyaka itanu. Bivuze ko abari bamaze imyaka itanu batandukanye n’abakunzi babo ari bo benshi, ariko hakaba hari harimo n’abandi bari bamaze iri munsi y’itanu ndetse n’iri hejuru yayo.
Hagendewe ku kuba harakurikiranwe abantu batamaze imyaka ingana batandukanye n’abakunzi babo, hakoreshejwe uburyo butandukanye mu gukurikirana neza ibijyanye n’ibyiyumviro byabo, icyo batekereza kuri abo bahoze ari abakunzi babo, ikigero cy’amarangamutima babafitiye ndetse n’ibindi bitandukanye.
Ubu bushakashatsi bwatahuye ko nyuma y’imyaka umunani, ari bwo ibyiyumviro byose wagiriraga uwahoze ari umukunzi wawe biba bimaze kugushiramo, ku buryo uba umufata nk’umuhisi n’umugenzi mutanigeze mumenyana.
Bwanagaragaje ko abantu bakomeza kuvugana n’abari abakunzi babo binyuze mu guhamagarana kuri telefoni no kohererezanya ubutumwa, guhura cyangwa kugira byinshi bahuriraho ku mbuga nkoranyambaga.
Ibi bituma bagorwa no kwikuramo iby’urukundo bagiranye, bikabatwara igihe kirekire ngo babe bamaze gukira ibikomere batewe na rwo.
Ikindi ni uko abantu bakundanaga bagatandukana bafitanye abana, bakomeza kugirirana ibyiyumviro biri hejuru kubera guhurira ku nshingano zo kurera, ariko na none ntibatwarwe n’ayo marangamutima ya ‘romance’ cyane ahubwo bakamera nk’abahujwe n’izo nshingano zo kurera kuruta kuba bo bakomeza gukundana urwa babiri.